Between Worlds: Why Immigrants Struggle With Belonging—And What Helps

The Quiet Ache of Not Belonging Fully Anywhere

That quiet ache of not fully belonging anywhere — too foreign for here, too changed for there — is more common than you think.

As someone who has personally navigated the immigrant journey, I understand how this cultural limbo affects everything from your career to your deepest relationships. This feeling isn't just in your head. It's a real psychological phenomenon that affects millions of global citizens.

You love both places. You miss both places. And yet... neither place feels like it completely fits you anymore.

This is what it means to feel trapped between cultures, and if you're living this tension, I want you to know: you are absolutely not alone.

Key Takeaways

• Feeling caught between cultures is a normal part of the immigrant journey.

• Your cultural identity evolves. Both you and your home country change over time.

• Navigating multiple cultures takes skill and energy, but builds valuable lifelong strengths.

• Creating “third spaces” helps you feel seen and fully yourself.

• Daily rituals that honour your heritage create a sense of comfort and belonging.

• Family traditions help pass cultural identity on to the next generation.

• The “in-between” experience strengthens your empathy, flexibility, and resilience.

• Belonging begins by belonging to yourself, not by fitting neatly into one box.

Why Immigrants Experience the "Between Worlds" Struggle

It's important to acknowledge that while many people experience this feeling, every immigrant's journey is uniquely shaped by factors such as race, religion, language abilities, and the circumstances of their move. These differences can make experiences of belonging and cultural identity even more complex.

1. You've Changed — And So Has "Home"

Time passes. You adapt, grow, and expand your worldview. Going back "home" often feels strangely disorienting because you're not the same person anymore, and neither is the place you left.

María, a Colombian executive I met, shared: "I moved to Australia for a career opportunity, and now my Australian colleagues see me as 'the Colombian girl,' but when I visit Bogotá, my childhood friends say I talk and act 'too Australian.' It's like I'm floating between two versions of myself, neither one feeling completely authentic."

2. You're Constantly Navigating Multiple Cultural Codes

What was once simple becomes increasingly complex:

Communication styles: Direct vs. indirect, emotional expressiveness
Social norms: Time perception, personal space, formality levels
Professional expectations: Self-promotion vs. humility, work-life boundaries
Language fluency: Losing vocabulary in your native tongue while still learning nuances in the new one

Raj, a Filipino designer in Toronto, once said something that stayed with me: "At home, showing respect meant listening more and speaking less. But at work here in Canada, it feels like I have to constantly prove myself by speaking up and being assertive. It’s like learning a whole new set of unspoken rules every day."

3. The Myth of 100% Belonging

Truth: Most humans never feel fully understood everywhere. But for immigrants and third-culture adults, this feeling is significantly amplified.

Liezl, a South African accountant living in Melbourne, expressed in an online immigrant forum: "Back home, colleagues called me 'too direct and ambitious.' Here in Australia, I'm often seen as 'too formal and reserved.' Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find a place where I don't have to explain or adjust some part of who I am."

The Real Emotional Impact of Cultural Limbo

Living between cultures creates unique psychological challenges that many traditional therapists don't fully understand:

• Identity fatigue from constant code-switching

• Decision paralysis about where to ultimately settle

• Anticipatory grief when thinking about aging parents overseas

• Chronic homesickness that doesn't resolve with time

• Hidden loneliness even when surrounded by friendly people

Positive Approaches: Transforming the In-Between Experience

Despite these challenges, many immigrants create deeply fulfilling lives by embracing their layered identity as a strength rather than a limitation.

In my own journey as an immigrant, I've discovered that creating spaces where both my cultural worlds can coexist has been transformative. When I first moved, I kept waiting to feel 'fully at home' again. But what I've learned is that my in-between identity isn't something to overcome — it's something to honour. Rather than trying to "fit in" completely to either culture, I've found peace in building a life that embraces both parts of who I am.

I've observed that when immigrants stop trying to belong 100% to any single culture and instead embrace their unique multicultural perspective, they often develop a stronger sense of self.

Belonging looks different for immigrants. And that's not just okay—it's beautiful.

7 Powerful Strategies When You Don't Fully Belong Anywhere

1. Shift Your Core Question

Instead of repeatedly asking yourself: "Where do I belong?"
Try asking: "How can I belong more deeply to myself first?"

Action step: Set aside 15 minutes this week to list three aspects of your multicultural identity that you're grateful for, even when they make life more complex.

2. Create Third Spaces Where All Parts of You Are Welcome

Find or build communities where you don't have to choose sides—spaces where your cultural complexity is an asset, not a liability.

Practical examples:

• Local multicultural community centres

• Language exchange meetups (in-person or virtual)

• Immigrant professional networks specific to your field

• Intercultural cooking classes or food-sharing events

• Online communities (e.g. Facebook Groups)

Action step: Commit to attending one new "third space" gathering this month, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

3. Build Daily Rituals of Cultural Integration

Small, consistent habits create a sense of belonging far more effectively than occasional big gestures.

Ideas for daily belonging rituals:

• Start mornings with music from your heritage culture

• Keep a journal in multiple languages

• Cook dishes that blend techniques from both cultures

• Create a home display with meaningful objects from your journey

• End each day by sharing childhood stories or folktales from your homeland with your children

A personal ritual I've developed is preparing porridge each morning using the traditional method from my homeland. This ten-minute ritual grounds me in who I am before I step into a day of cultural navigation.

4. Strengthen Family Cultural Bridges

Many immigrant parents worry deeply about their children's connection to their heritage. This concern is valid and addressable with intentional practices.

Family connection strategies:

• Create language learning routines that feel joyful, not obligatory

• Cook traditional meals together, sharing stories about the ingredients

• Establish video call traditions with family overseas

• Celebrate cultural holidays with community involvement

• Document family history through collaborative projects

Action step: Choose one family cultural tradition that's slipping away, and schedule it on your calendar this month.

5. Process Your Experience Through Intentional Reflection

Regular reflection helps integrate your complex experiences and reduce the cognitive dissonance of living between cultures.

Powerful journal prompts:

• Where do I feel most like myself—and why?

• What parts of my identity feel seen in my current environment? What feels hidden?

• What do I miss most from my past home—and how can I honour that today?

• When do I feel proud of being someone who has navigated challenges and lived between identities?

• How can I create more spaces where all parts of me are welcome?

Action step: Choose one prompt and write for 10 minutes without editing yourself.

6. Reframe Your Story as a Strength

Your "between worlds" experience has given you rare and valuable abilities:

• Cognitive flexibility that monolingual, monocultural people rarely develop

• Empathy across differences that makes you invaluable in diverse teams

• Crisis adaptation skills from navigating significant cultural transitions

• Pattern recognition across different cultural contexts

• Communication versatility that bridges understanding

Action step: In your next job interview or professional bio, intentionally highlight one of these immigrant-specific strengths.

A Gentle Reminder for Your Journey

You don't have to choose just one identity.
You are both/and. Never either/or.

You belong to your story.
You belong to your journey.
You belong to yourself.

The very qualities that make you feel "out of place" are precisely what the world needs—people who can translate between worlds, who understand complexity, who carry multiple perspectives within them.

 Transform Your "Between Worlds" Experience Into Your Greatest Strength

If you're an ambitious immigrant looking to overcome loneliness, build meaningful connections, and create a purpose-driven life in your new country, I understand your journey.

Ready to move from cultural limbo to integrated belonging?

→ Join the waitlist for my upcoming "Cultural Confidence Accelerator" program
→ Subscribe to my newsletter for immigrants navigating cultural transitions
→ Download my free guide: "From Lost to Found: Rediscover yourself abroad"

Your unique story deserves to be honoured. Together, we can create a path where you don't just survive between worlds—you thrive because of them.

Join The Conversation

Where do YOU feel most like yourself? What daily rituals or traditions help you feel connected to who you are?

Share your experience in the comments—I would love to hear your story.

Want a little support as you explore this? Join my newsletter or reach out to me directly for further advice.

Let's create a space where all of our stories feel welcome.

FAQs: Finding Belonging Across Borders

Q1: Is it normal to feel like I don't belong anywhere after living abroad?
Absolutely. This feeling of being caught between cultures is extremely common among immigrants and expatriates. You've been shaped by multiple cultural influences, which makes it difficult to feel 100% at home in any single place.

Q2: How long does it take to feel settled in a new country?
There's no universal timeline. For some, a sense of belonging develops within a year or two, while for others, it's an ongoing journey. Rather than expecting to feel "fully settled," many immigrants find peace in embracing their multicultural identity as fluid and evolving.

Q3: How can I help my children connect with a culture they weren't born into?
Consistent exposure through language, food, stories, music, and traditions builds cultural connection. Make these elements a natural part of daily life rather than occasional "cultural education." Connect with community groups where your children can see others navigating similar multicultural identities.

Q4: Will I ever stop missing my home country?
Most immigrants experience some degree of ongoing connection and occasional homesickness for their country of origin. Rather than viewing this as something to "get over," many find it helpful to honour these feelings as a natural part of their multicultural identity.

Q5: How can I explain my cultural background in professional settings?
Focus on the strengths your multicultural experience has given you: adaptability, perspective-taking, language skills, cultural intelligence, and resilience. These are increasingly valued in global workplaces. Have a brief, confident explanation of your background ready, emphasising the advantages your unique perspective brings.

Q6: Is it better to assimilate completely or maintain my original cultural identity?
Research suggests that integration—maintaining connections to your heritage culture while participating in your new culture—is associated with better psychological outcomes than complete assimilation. Finding this balance is personal and evolves throughout your life.