Homesick, Anxious, and Exhausted? Here's What Helped Me Feel Like Myself Again

• Emotional fatigue from immigration is real and valid.
• Naming your emotions is a powerful first step.
• Rituals, community, movement, and self-compassion aid healing.
• You can reconnect to your identity in a new way.
• Healing happens through small, consistent acts.

Introduction

I was standing in the cereal aisle of a grocery store in Perth when it hit me: Tears welled up in my eyes.

Three months earlier, I'd arrived from South Africa, full of hope and ambition. A new chapter for my family. A fresh start for my career. A dream in motion.

But in that aisle with fluorescent lights buzzing, unfamiliar brands staring back, and prices that made my stomach clench, I felt completely lost.

This wasn't just culture shock. It was grief. And if you're feeling it too, you're not alone. And it won't feel this way forever.

I Didn't Expect to Miss Everything All at Once

Simple things would trigger waves of homesickness: the smell of food I couldn't find here, the way no one made eye contact on the train, even the sound of birds (they sing differently here).

Immigrating is more than a move; it's an identity shift. You miss your parents. You feel guilty watching your kids thrive in a culture you're still deciphering. Even small interactions, buying bread or riding the bus can feel alien.

And it doesn't always show up as sadness. Sometimes it's masking, pushing through the day while your inner voice whispers, "Pause."

What we often experience is immigration grief the slow, layered mourning of the self we left behind.

5 Tools That Helped Me Feel Like Myself Again

1. Naming the Feelings (Without Shame)

"I stopped pretending I was okay, and everything started to shift."

The turning point came when I said to a friend, "I feel lost and invisible." Just naming it helped. Naming the emotion gave me power over it. Here's what I was actually feeling:

• Homesickness for familiar places, rhythms, and comforts
• Identity confusion from being seen as "new" instead of "qualified"
• Expectation hangover when life didn't match the dream
• Cultural fatigue from decoding constant unspoken rules
• Guilt for feeling low when I "should" feel grateful

Try this: Write down exactly how you feel today. Let it all out no edits, no shame.

2. Creating Small Anchors of Familiarity

"Rituals from home helped me feel like me again."

I began recreating tiny pieces of home:

• Brewing my 'home' tea each evening
• Sunday phone calls with family
• Playing old music while cooking
• Setting up a small corner with items from home

These weren't grand gestures. They were grounding ones.

Ask yourself: What are 3 rituals from home you can blend into your life now?

3. Finding One Safe Space to Be Real

"Connection cracked the loneliness wide open."

I posted vulnerably in an immigrant support group. The replies? "Me too." "Same here." "I see you."

I:

• Joined a South African Facebook group
• Attended a mother's group in my suburb
• Shared school pick-ups with other migrant parents

Not every encounter became a friendship, but they reminded me I wasn't invisible.

Reminder: You don't need to "earn" support. Seek it now.

4. Practising Radical Self-Compassion

"Letting go of 'should' gave me space to breathe again."

I "should" be settled by now. I "should" be grateful. I "should" be doing better. Those thoughts were draining.

So I practised:

• Speaking to myself like I would a friend
• Reminding myself I was doing something deeply brave
• Letting myself be in process, not perfect

Mantra: You're allowed to take your time. Healing is not a race.

5. Moving My Body to Quiet My Mind

"Walking brought me back to myself."

I wasn't sleeping. I was overthinking. But moving helped:

• A daily 20-minute walk, yes, even in tears
• Gentle stretching before bed
• Dancing to a nostalgic playlist on hard days

Movement soothed my nervous system. It didn't fix everything, but it helped me sleep, eat, and feel again.

Truth: Your body remembers home, too. Help it feel safe.

Fun Fact & Expert Insight

Fun Fact: The human brain processes emotional pain the same way it processes physical pain. That's why homesickness literally hurts.

Expert Insight: According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, immigrants are more likely to experience depression and anxiety in their first two years post-migration. Support systems matter.

FAQs

What is the first step I should take if I feel emotionally overwhelmed after moving?

Acknowledge it. Then pick one small act of care: call a friend, take a walk, sip something warm.

How long does immigration adjustment usually take?

Most people experience adjustment waves for 6–18 months. Some aspects take years. There's no fixed timeline, only your own.

How do I make friends in a new country?

Start small. Smile at someone. Join a community group. Show up more than once.

How can I deal with guilt for leaving my family behind?

Guilt often mirrors love. Stay connected, honour your roots and give yourself permission to build forward.

What if I can't find a job that matches my skills?

It's common. You're not alone. Consider local mentors, short courses, or networking to gain momentum and visibility.

Is it okay to grieve the old version of me?

Absolutely. Grieving creates room for evolution. You're not leaving her behind, you're building on her.

Conclusion

Healing didn't mean I stopped missing home. It meant I found ways to carry it gently.

Six months after that cereal aisle breakdown, I hosted a neighbourhood 'braai'. I made a dish from home. My Aussie neighbour asked for the recipe.

That small moment? It was proof: I belonged in both worlds.

You don't have to go back to who you were before. You can become more of who you are here, now, with grace.

If this spoke to you, I'd love to hear your story. As an Immigrant Confidence and Belonging Coach who has walked this path, I'm passionate about supporting professionals like you through this transition.

You don't have to do this alone.

Get in touch today and let's explore your next chapter together. Book a free 30-minute connection call where we can discuss your specific challenges and how personalised coaching might support your journey.

You carried your skills, talents, and dreams across oceans and borders. Now, let's make sure they find fertile ground to flourish.