Things I Wish I Knew Before Leaving Home Forever

Table of Contents

• TL;DR

• Key Takeaways

• Introduction

• 1. The Grieving Process Is Real

• 2. Your Professional Identity Will Be Challenged

• 3. Language Fluency Doesn't Equal Cultural Fluency

• 4. You'll Question Your Decision

• 5. Your Identity Will Exist in the Hyphen

• 6. Finding "Your People" Takes Longer Than You Think

• 7. The Small Things Will Unexpectedly Break Your Heart

• 8. Your Relationship With "Home" Will Forever Change

• 9. Your Resilience Will Surprise You

• 10. There Is No Arrival Point, Only Evolution

• Moving Forward: Creating Your New Story

• Call-to-Action (CTA)

• FAQ

TL;DR

Immigrating is more than moving to a new country; it's moving into a new version of yourself. It comes with challenges, grief, and surprising moments of joy. This post shares raw truths and personal lessons I wish I had known before taking that one-way trip from Durban, South Africa to Perth, Western Australia.

Key Takeaways

• Grief is natural in migration and doesn't mean you're failing.

• Professional setbacks don’t diminish your expertise.

• Cultural adjustment requires time and patience.

• Homesickness can be triggered by the smallest things.

• Identity becomes more complex, but also richer.

Introduction

When I packed my life into suitcases and boarded that plane from Durban to Perth, I was filled with a mixture of hope, excitement, and determination. Like many of you, I believed I was prepared for the journey ahead. I had researched the job market, secured temporary accommodation, and even practised my "G'day mate!" with conviction.

What I hadn't prepared for were the emotional undercurrents that would pull at me in the months and years that followed. The subtle yet profound ways that migration would reshape not just my surroundings, but my very sense of self.

If you're standing at the threshold of your own migration journey (or even if you're several steps in), here are the things I wish someone had told me before I left home forever.

1. The Grieving Process Is Real

Migration involves profound loss. You grieve people, places, routines, and even who you used to be. Sometimes, it's the little things (a spice in a market, a song in a shop, a scent in the air) that unexpectedly bring you to tears.

What I wish I knew: Grief isn’t weakness. It’s proof that you loved where you came from. Let yourself feel it, honour it, and let it shape your strength.

2. Your Professional Identity Will Be Challenged

Despite my qualifications and years of experience, I had to start over. My resume didn’t carry the weight I thought it would. Cultural nuances in the workplace tripped me up. I constantly felt the need to prove myself.

What I wish I knew: Your career might take a step back before it surges forward. That doesn’t define your worth. Seek out mentors and communities that understand your value.

3. Language Fluency Doesn't Equal Cultural Fluency

Yes, I speak English. But I still felt lost in everyday banter and pop culture references. The constant mental translation drained me.

What I wish I knew: It’s okay not to get every joke. Curiosity and humility go a long way. Ask, listen, and you’ll slowly decode your new environment.

4. You'll Question Your Decision

Some nights, I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I had made a terrible mistake. Was this struggle worth it? Would I ever feel at home?

What I wish I knew: Doubt is part of the journey. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you’re growing.

5. Your Identity Will Exist in the Hyphen

Before, I was simply South African. Now I’m South African-Australian. That space between cultures felt confusing at first, but it’s now my power zone.

What I wish I knew: The hyphen holds beauty. It makes you a cultural translator, a bridge, a story that spans worlds.

6. Finding "Your People" Takes Longer Than You Think

Friendship doesn’t happen overnight. Surface-level chats are easy; soul-level bonds take time and vulnerability.

What I wish I knew: Deep friendships are slow-cooked. Be patient. Your tribe is out there.

7. The Small Things Will Unexpectedly Break Your Heart

One afternoon, I cried hearing a song. It reminded me of my dad. That’s the thing, the smallest details can hold the biggest emotions.

What I wish I knew: These moments are sacred. Let them connect you, not break you.

8. Your Relationship With "Home" Will Forever Change

Home is no longer just a place. It’s a feeling. A blend of accents, traditions, and people who ground you.

What I wish I knew: You can belong in more than one place. You can feel at home everywhere and nowhere, and that’s okay.

9. Your Resilience Will Surprise You

I have grown stronger than I ever imagined. The challenges didn't break me, they carved out my grit.

What I wish I knew: You're more powerful than your toughest day.

10. There Is No Arrival Point, Only Evolution

I kept waiting for the moment I'd feel "settled." But migration isn’t a goalpost. It’s a journey that constantly unfolds.

What I wish I knew: There is no final destination, only new chapters waiting to be written.

Moving Forward: Creating Your New Story

What felt like a breaking point was actually a turning point. Migration forced me to grow in ways I never expected. It taught me to rebuild, reimagine, and reclaim my story.

Belonging isn’t something you stumble upon. It’s something you build. One relationship, one ritual, one day at a time.

What aspects of migration have surprised you the most? What wisdom would you share with someone just beginning their journey?

Share your thoughts below. You never know who needs to hear your voice today.

Your story matters. Let’s keep the conversation going.

Reach out to me today if you’re navigating life between countries and identities. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to feel at home in a new country?

It varies for everyone, but most people begin feeling more settled after 1–2 years. Community involvement and routine help speed the transition.

What can I do if I feel isolated after moving?

Join local interest groups, attend community events, or connect with fellow immigrants. Don’t hesitate to seek professional support if needed.

Should I visit home often or stay away to adjust better?

Balance is key. Occasional visits can be healing, but staying too connected digitally might slow emotional adjustment. Follow what feels right.

How can I explain my background to employers unfamiliar with it?

Prepare a brief, confident explanation of your qualifications and experience. Connect it to local context or values when possible.

What are some ways to preserve my culture while integrating?

Cook traditional meals, celebrate cultural holidays, and teach your children your language. Cultural pride and adaptation can coexist.